Reincarnation

the sun shines down
the rays heat up
the water pours into the bottomless cup
the palm tree leans
the leaves sway in the wind
the hopeful coconuts are pinned
the wave comes crashing over
the palm tree disappears
the tree's worst fears
the shadow dissipates
the coconuts float and spread
the palm tree is never dead
the coconuts find land
the sand buries the seed
the sun and water feeds its need
the tree begins to grow
the tree's past life is unknown
the new coconuts set the tone
the wave comes crashing over
the palm tree disappears
the tree's worst fears

Tobacco

Stimulate my acetylcholine
Dry the leaves and smoke my tabacum
Excite my neruons and produce stimulation
Pass the nicotine through my blood
Create that intense effect
Get my heart pumping
Raise my blood pressure
Relax my muscles
Suppress my appetite
Increase fast-wave patterns
Wake me up and let me think
Bring my low mood up high
Yet Smoking kills
It's all cheap thrills
That cost you quite the buck
You lose and you're out of luck
So to put it simply, quit!
Don't let another one become lit

Caffeine

All I want is more energy
To get my blood flowin
To the brain and all around
Improve my cognitive effect
Reaction time, attention, and memory
Increase my concentration
Let tolerance never exist
So I will not withdraw
Throw away overstimulation
I don't want to be a zombie
My heart can't beat any faster
A state of delirium has risen

Something New

i was walking down the street
looking at my feet
when i noticed something new
out of the blue
i rose my head to the sky
to an infinite high
when i noticed something new
out of the blue
i was tappin to a beat
after taking a seat
when i noticed something new
out of the blue
i was swimming in the ocean
and i felt the locomotion
when i noticed something new
out of the blue

The Castle

It seems time has passed since I've dropped a line
I've checked my pulse and I'm doing just fine.
sitting back and contemplating just how to achieve
how to describe my ideas and allow them to breathe
i look at the world and see this big castle.
i see all my goals becoming too difficult to tackle.
but i don't stand afar and i walk up real close,
to see which part of the castle that i like the most.
there's great architecture with a paint job so smooth
There's outstanding woodwork made of impeccable grooves.
All of this is so pretty but just won't suit my taste.
The most beautiful parts are just hiding the waste.
But I found what I like. A little tiny sliver.
I found it one day whilst following the river.
A tiny red door that most do not see.
There's no cover charge and entrance is free.
And that is how I get to see whats inside.
All that garbage i told you that they try to hide.
I see all the workings and how the gears turn.
I see sometime soon this Castle will burn.

Clock Radio

I had this dream last night
Maybe it was fantasy
At least if the timing was right
And you didn't ignore me

We were preparing for school
There were texts in our hands
But our halls were the beach
And the sails were our labs

You threw me a look
Was in anger or lustful?
I couldn't tell if you knew
How much that I wanted

And then I heard the alarm
Coming from my radio
It sang to my fears
Of being left alone

I wish you'd be more like a song
And less like our math class
And that you'd pull on my hair
And bite me like that
Just like Conor said

In my dream you were cold
And I was still yearning
You spent your time far away
Couldn't see I was burning

No you wouldn't come over
Or spend any time with me
My sails had gone luffed
And my book bindings breaking

What kind of a nightmare
Was my dream turning into?
I knew you didn't want me
But I felt I could win you

And then I heard the alarm
Coming from my radio
It sang to my fears
Of being left alone

I wish you'd be more like a song
And less like our math class
And that you'd pull on my hair
And bite me like that
Just like Conor said

Knowledge is power

every day is exactly the same
all you've got is a name
learn new things to switch it up
have knowledge pour out of your cup
teach others what you have learned
in the process a great thing is earned
journey to new places and reach new heights
face your fears to devour your frights
you maybe young or you may be old
but its never to late to do something bold
share what you can give to others
the world will unite as sisters and brothers

FUCK

Brewing

Something else is on my mind
What is it I'm trying to find
Was that light red? I hope it was green
What do all of these thoughts mean?
I thought they were supposed to go away
To a place where they could slowly decay
But they are here to stay
They crash and burn on my highway
Should I share my thoughts with others?
Spread knowledge among parents, sisters, and brothers
Or keep it all in store for me?
Put up a fence around my wisdom tree

Stay with me, or I'll go with you

You take a rest because a rest you need
Your thoughts recollect and begin to feed
I want you to sleep yet I want you awake
Although you don't know it time is at stake
I want you to stay and I want you to leave
But when you are gone I know I will grieve
So if you go maybe I will too
But only if you know I'm for you

God God Dammit Dammit

Alright now

Time to calm down

Even though you're a mess and will be on display tomorrow

Even though you haven't slept or eaten any sane amount

Even though you're head just is as empty as when you started

And you really can't afford to fuck up yet again

You must be fucking retarded

Take a breath, it's all right

Convince yourself it's okay and it will be better next time

Even though you're well aware that is a huge fucking lie

No matter how many times you stay up all night

Contemplating why any of this matters

You swear up and down you're gonna make a new plan

And draw it out on every surface that can handle it

You're still brewing insanity that belongs in the trash bin

You know you're just going to fail again

And again

And again

Because you're just not good enough to handle this

And everything is so fucking loud, you can't stand it

Take a breath, it's all right

By now you've begun to accept your fate anyway

Always a mess and easy to irritate

Left alone, but you kind of like it that way

Because no one will ever see what fucked up shit can happen when it's too late

Take a breath, it's all right

Nothing matters anymore, it never did

It's just another part of this fucking system

Breeding robots who can't think outside their brain stems

You're the fucking smart one here, not them

Bigger numbers on their side don't make a difference

So they found a way to have their fun and keep on passing

But I don't see anyone else on the field picking up wrappers

I don't see anyone else giving two shits about their friends as much as I did

I just fucking see you wasting your life doing assignments

And smiling when you hand it in, as if it means you win

And now you'll go out because it's almost the weekend

Well fuck you. And fuck your friends too.

I'm alone in my mess with no time and too much to do

But at least in the end I know I've done what matters right

I never put on a show just to make it look like I can fight

I'm not one to lie about caring for life

Fuck that synthetic bullshit

What happened to being genuine?

And don't criticize me for not donating money to earthquake victims

Because I donate my time to giving out an education

To my friends and to my peers and to parents and their children

I'm sorry that people are poor, but nature is out of our jurisdiction

Shouldn't thinking for ourselves and in favor of the future be the given?

I'm out to make the goddamn difference

Making sure they don't turn into robots like everyone else and their friends

Encouraging them to pick up trash some asshole was too lazy to throw away

Showing them how to care so we have a world to live in some day

My purpose doesn't involve getting a fucking GPA

It's getting some fucking change

Inspiring rage

Because something's gotta fucking turn around before we age anymore

But shit ain't happening as long as us fighters get stuck in hell holes

Taking out a second mortgage for a fucking piece of paper

That somehow we've been convinced makes a life more than strong wills can

But that's how it's gotta be isn't it

I've already spent fifteen years of my life preparing

And brewing pots of negative swearing

I'm done.

I'll play your fucking game just long enough so I can show for it.

But seriously.

Is it time yet to motherfucking live yet???

Drug dealin’ man

My man is a drug dealin’ man
Drug dealin’ man says hes got a plan
Gona fix up his life and start again
For you, Well, for you, anything I would do
Anything to just be with you
Drug dealin’ man won’t take no help for his plan
Must do everything backwards and down
Left, not right, and unfunny clowns
Alone again, I am, I am
Because drug dealin’ man failed at his plan
Landed his ass in jail again
goodbye my drug dealin’ man

Bring it back

They started with nothing
Except what the Earth could bring
They gathered and hunted
Only peace was fronted
What if we went back
Didn't worry about material things we lack
Back to a sense of unity
With no country or city
Would there be one love
For those below and the ones above?
Would everone get along
And sing together in song?
Or would people just fight
With morals out of sight?
Overcome by want and greed
Again they plant the seed
Everyone wants more
Power will allure
Society corrupt again
The devil inside all men
So how to expel him
Go out on the limb
Cast your mind in the fire
Get rid of all desire
A faith you must find
So meaning and life can bind
But if you find no reason
Commit no treason
So if you could
Find your good
Give it your all
Rise if you fall

Shroomin

Day trippin, my new event
watch objects slowy become bent
the colors so vibrant as they glow
many thoughts begin an endless flow
how this time shall I reorganize my life
Shroomin keeps things but trife

Control

Who controls you.
Government
Family
Friends
Enemies
What controls you.
Work
Diet
Drugs
Medication
When controls you.
Past
Present
Future
Where controls you.
Home
Town
State
Country
World
Universe

White Rabbit

I'll nimble your tongue, if you spend time with me

I'll humble your thoughts, just don't hide from me

I'll make you feel embraced by your society

And become everything you ever wished you could be

Just follow me, follow me

Down the hole

There you go

Now, don't you feel better now that we've met again?

You feel that you can fake it now with that grin

Don't worry, I'm holding your true feelings tight

And I'll give them back to you before the end of the night

Close your eyes and feel my binds seize you

Don't worry, your lungs are safe to breathe here

Let it wrap around your limbs as the scene did

Sink into each calming thought and feel the mending

You've never felt so delightful as you do right now

Even though you know there are more holes you must go down

See, I can't help you very prolonged, my friend

Unless you pay to buy my time irrevocably again

But, If you can't keep me well tended and rested

I fear I will have to release all that you've vested

The horizon lights won't be followed by a calm, no

If you let me have my way I have to paint red on your dawn

Be warned

Your lungs are mine as long as this mist rises

And you'll be begging for more of my disguising

How is being you after I threw back on my promises?

I bet you feel like dying, dying, don't you?

I'll nimble your tongue, if you spend time with me

I'll humble your thoughts, just don't hide from me

I'll make you feel embraced by your society

And become everything you ever wished you could be

Just follow me, follow me

Down the hole

There you go

Cuyahoga

The river is on fire

Get your running boots tied

Quick now, we have to go

The water is burning high

Grew and Died

I once grew trees
only rose to my knees
started off as seeds
i met all their needs
i curled them around
not straight from the ground
and then they died
were probably fried
or was it thirst
which came first
next time don't trust another
even if he was my brother
take care of things yourself
dont put it on someone's shelf

Dream

So the first part of my dream was all having sex with a random girl I've never met. We first fucked on the stairs but I pulled out after a little while because I remembered I did not put a condom on. She said she wish I didn't stop because I was really good. All of a sudden thousands of boxes of condoms appeared with the logo JUICY on them. We went into the bedroom and continued the dirty. Then my aunt alice appeared and we went into a separate room. My unle John was down the hall and he asked what was doing in Florida and how did I get there. My aunt said that I flew down and she had something very important to discuss with me. The second half of my dream took place at a pool club with empty pools. The first pool did not have curved walls, but I ollied into it and skated around somehow. People watching were saying you can't skate this pool, but I kept going. I then proceeded to a bigger pool that resembled the bowl at Sayerville Skate Park. Before I even attempted to ride it, the pool started filling up with water and a lot of kids jumped in. I then went over to a larger pool, rectangular in shape and my board fell to the bottom. The pool had to be 3o feet deep so I prepared myself mentally for the plunge and went in. Halfway down my Mom and Dad were beneather water too and were trying to tell me something. Obviously I could not understand them because we were in water. I finally got my board and when I got out of the pool there were hundreds of chairs for a huge assembly. A major reward was going to be given out and I really hoped I would get it. I did not but I did win a prize, an Easter basket. Filled with odd colored candy that resembled pills. I then talked to a friend Carriane who had a major crush on me. People were calling my cell phone and house phone looking for Carriane. I then woke up.

Down

splashing teary eyes
the spread of lies
look at the lights how they shine
as they glow so divine
still lies the impurity
not about maturity
everything so melancholy
without a single sense jolly
the end has come
forever numb

M Dream 5

I'm running for some reason. No t-shirt just a hoodie with a zipper. It's slightly rainy out. I go to CVS which is more of a hangout place then it should be. I check my phone and see a text from Breege. I think I've gone to CVS to chill with her or somethin. I walk inside and see Kristan with really short hair. It just annoys me to see her so I leave. Now its actually raining outside. I'm running again and it's not long before the Sun comes out. I see Snoop Dogg in a motorcycle gang as I'm running the streets. He jokingly tells me they're going to California or something implying that I go with them and run the whole way. I think it's funny and I tell him of course I'll go. Next thing I know I'm on a plane. Trying to get anywhere inside the plane is difficult. I see one old lady sleeping. Her hair seems to be made of memory foam and she cut it so that it would make a pillow. Snoop is on the plane. He looks really young through out my whole dream. I see him and we flash each other peace signs. Corey is on the plane in the front. I'm on my way to chill with him but wake up.

Dusty Summer Poem 2

and i don't even know where the hell i'm gonna go
i hear this 2012 shits gonna bring a lot snow
but maybe not lemme tell you the worlds not gonna end
there may be more disasters but we'll wind up with more friends
stick together and come chill underneath my dry umbrella
hey there fella, why you think its about bein a hero?

fuck your ego its only about not feelin fear-no
thing is going to bring peace so just sing.
let the truth spill out. thats the only thing that matters
watch it open up your eyes while all the lies just shatter
make a batter for a cake cause were about to bake,
the pastry of the century but right now i gotta wait.

collecting my thoughts for the next fudgy the whale
your either on my page or not, there's no time to bail
i grab the mail,
and just see who will be joinin me
on this free trip to the future.
only thing left behind is needless pain and rusty sutures

whats the point of this meaning less existence
i try and try but nothing happens like for instance
2 months in school and that heroin came around
never thought id see that shit creepin in my town
so i frown people think that im a clown
cause im just not cool enough to get down

shit is evil leaves your soul an fuckin empty shell
my reality is heaven while theirs quickley becomes hell

and i can tell when im tryin to get my message through
that theres plenty of better things in life that you can always do
tand ive learned they just dont care
let them occupy themselves with anxiety scares

cannot even remeber who you were just last september
you were into books now the crack you cook
and the people you hang out with are a buncha crooks

whatever your worthless why do i waste my time
its this choice of free will that will kill half of mankind
take thosse glasses off son and take a look for your self
see the worlds massive depression thats been sittin' on the shelf
this topics been doin nothin but collecting dust and webs
people like to pretend its all ok but i seek the truth instead

what i seek is inspiration, not too difficult a task
but there's none inside this nation, what you see is just a mask
every goveneors got a flask and visions what they lack.
grow the fuck up learn how to live the dream
its not all about you if you know what i mean

Dusty Summer Poem 1

chillen by myself after sippen 4 coronoas
i may not a loser but i certainly am a loner.
or maybe not if you're hot then your definatly on the web.
everyones racin to be the next facebook celeb
am i dead?
nah its only there to fuck with your head
cause honestly i dont know what im seein
its like i can almost see right through every fuckin human being
the priest will reassure u then touch some little kids
the police will solve it all while they cash in on some bids
whos to trust? my heads about to bust.
its not that big a deal but everyone else'll make a fuss
guess we'll just have to blame it on the drugs
use michael jacksons death to sweep it under the rug.
and ive begun to almost hate every one
its all about the money and never bout the fun
grab a gun cause that means you have balls
but all it'll really get u is the cops breakin down ur walls
who's at fault? please tell me we need to point the finger.
and i know as americans we can never let that linger.
that girls a singer and they put her on the air
american idol will make her touch your heart so you don't pull out your hair
cause no one cares. people always goin after nothing but personal gain.
and theres the reason right there why in the world there's so much pain.
its really allabout the fame. in the end all you have is your name
whos to blame? play the game. its all inside your brain.
you imagine these things then they become real
life's exactly like a dream except that you can feel

Dream

So I was back for a party at my fraternity house for the first time in months. Everyone was excited to see me and all of the brothers were exactly who they were and how they used to look. However, several friends from my life were there with slight variations on looks, especially their face. Only one friend who was not one of my brothers, looked the same, Dani Koshtinat. When I first got to my fraternity I had a backpack, laptop, and duffel bag. It seemed like I was staying for a little while, atleast a weekend. I went up to one of the rooms, but every room I entered had slight variations of how they are in real life. The room I entered to put my things in so no one would take them, had a lofted bed and a couch. There was also a closet along the left hand side filled with nice dress clothes, belts, shoes, and ties. Bogdan was sleeping next to some other guy, and then he woke up and tossed him at the wall. The guy was really confused and Bogdan just laughed. I went down to the party which was already banging, and did not dance or play beer pong. I just wanted to say hello to everyone and see how they were doing and let them know how I was. I went upstairs once to check my things, making sure no one took anything. I talked to several brothers and friends, and then all of the sudden the party died down, and one of my brothers, Geremy Cuaycong appeared. Geremy was probably my best friend when I was at NJIT so I was happy to see him. We decided to walk over to the pool table, which turned into bumper pool. A kid who I have never met before was already playing by himself. Geremy said we could go ahead and play, and he left. Most likely to smoke some weed, what else would he do. I asked the kid who I've never seen before If he was a brother, or a pledge. He was neither and he stuttered over his words and It was really hard to understand what he was saying. After we played a little bit of pool I walked back upstairs to where my stuff was. I entered the room and to my amazement they were shooting a porno. There were three people fucking and the oddesting thing is one of them was a 10 year old boy going at it. The filmer told me it was his brother so I shouldn't be alarmed. It still bothered me. It reminded me of when Mark Perez and I wanted to start shooting porn in his room. I left the room after I checked for my stuff again. I wasn't tired at all so I just wandered around the house, although no one was up. The end.

And Another Dime of Deuce

I'm seeing light

I think

Somewhere above me

An escape from purgatory

I hope

Because I've been hovering

Longer than I've been on the ground

I've been smothered by it

Consumed and covered by it

My indecision to recover from it

Is leading me from loving

Yeah, if I could have made it different

I'm not sure if I ever would have

But in the end, all was the same

I'm just fleeing for the fun of it

Or is it?

If I left so soon would I have noticed?

Would the names I'd have forgotten

Have forgotten me all the same?

But they forgot me anyway

I guess I'm the only one to blame

For now

Though somewhere above me

Some hope is bellowing

The fires in my eyes

And I can't help lying to myself

At least for a little while

Yeah, it makes it seem a little better this time

Three Quarts of Midnight

I've got sugar free wings.

They're making heart beats,

And it goes bump,

ba dump,

ba dump,

ba dump.

And I have smoke rings

Leave trails behind me

As I go puff,

a puff,

a puffing along.

But my friend, she's calling

Wants to know when I'm free

I don't know,

I don't,

I don't,

I don't.

Maybe another time

In another design

My friend, I apologize

But right now I've fallen behind

It's these answers I need

Tomorrow morning perhaps?

If I wake up intact

After the dreams I will have

In which my wings do detach

And then I fall to the ground

And I go bump,

ba dump,

ba dump,

ba dump.

Purpose?

what is the meaning of life?
finding yourself caught in strife.
all you need to do is reproduce
stop. dont hang by the noose
your genes will pass on
and a new day will dawn
for your children and theirs
like the trees' peaches and pears
all though the name doesnt last
they'll speak of the past
and of the things you did
from when you were an adult to when you were a kid
but what is the purpose?
are we stuck in the abyss?
is there a heaven or hell?
does that ring a bell?
is there a God or a Zeus?
how about a golden goose
is there any reason why we are here?
do we make up things to live not in fear?
what if there is no purpose at all?
in the universe yet so small
so should we make the best of it?
those who have faith and those who don't are split
so live as each day is your last
hope the end does not come fast

In the Corner

Oh ha, yeah that's me. Over in the corner.
I'm not very aggressive didn't I warn ya?
Going for step one. Trying to make friends.
Pretty hard when you're working and time doesn't lend.
But that's ok. Things fall into their place.
No sense in making it into a chase.
You'll run and run but never get the fill.
Take a look at the ground you're on a treadmill.
See the scenery, let the picture piece itself.
Move not in a rush and maybe in stealth.
The big picture will come. It'll be worth the wait.
I try to keep it simple without a debate.
Oh ha, yeah that's me. Over in the corner.
I'm not very aggressive didn't I warn ya?

Chipped Teeth

A ball with the lace
Came right to her face
She thought all was over
Shell now be a rover
But all was not lost
There is of course a small cost
But she’ll still have her pretty face
No matter the case
Don’t look down look up
Everyone around knows what’s up
So stop and hold that head high
Don’t frown and give a sigh
The pain will be over soon
Joy will come with the new moon

Neurotransmitters

Trigger the brain
so it came
an action
then reaction
every neuron
is pure on
serotonin and endorphins
good sins
dopamine
now a fiend
psychoactive
how to live
use the herbs
kick the curbs
feels good
so it should

What and why?

meditating under the umbrella tree
trying to decide if this is me
is this really who i want to be?
meditating under the umbrella tree

swimming in the abyss
what else did i miss
has everything been bliss?
swimming in the abyss

flying through the infinite sky
asking the questions what and why
what will happen when we die?
flying through the infinite sky

Writing

when i spit
i think of the pit
the fire that's lit
and all of my wit
when i write it down
reverses the frown
still a clown
who wears a crown
let the words flow
up high down low
through the river they row
conquers my foe
when its done
its still fun
read under the sun
feel like i've won

Kmart

Oh the familiar feeling of wanting to run away
the one that moves me through each day I am.
(The strength it takes
to keep my heart)
in one place could move a mountain.
My thoughts race
but which one will win?
My pulse searches for something, anything, to keep time with.
But really it wants a someone, not an anyone, to rest with.
Oh the familiar feeling of wanting to break a heart.

Kmart

I think what makes you so appealing
is that you I could never have
Lust, I do for something true
but lust is all you grant
Your puzzle remains,
in my mind
unsolved, but I will try til death,
to unlock what's true inside of you
and love to myself,
I will grant.

Kmart

When i imagine i am flying
new places are all i see
they are filled with joy and love
and blessed with good comp'ny
i long to join in the songs
that the magic creatures sing
but this is not real
and i cannot feel
the love of which they sing

What A Tease!

My stomach’s growling and I can’t stop it.

I need some extra cash in my pocket.

Trudging forward, eyes on the ground.

Today there’s a bag full of pills to be found.

I think to my self, how lucky for me?

A bag full of pills to be taken for free?

This could be exactly what I need.

I could flip these for cash,

and then go and feed.

But maybe I won’t.

I’d like them myself

Here’s my dilemma.

To get high or to sell?

Maybe they’re oxy’s,

Maybe its vicodin,

Four Four One Five Nine,

Just generic Excedrin.

Tylenol, Asprin, and Caffeine in each.

Pop 2 to wake up, and my day is a peach.

I guess in a way my misfortune is luck

Cause if they were oxy’s, my day would be fucked.

Defy

Flying up above the sky
No laws apply when this high
Who's to tell you what to do
Now its time to begin anew
Perch upon the tallest tree
Dive to the bottom of the deepest sea
Climb the highest mountain top
Who's to tell you when to stop

Shockwave

She was enjoying her music
When she got a new kick
Something felt before but now unexpected
Her head phones should be inspected
Towels sent a wave of shock
Gave her ears quite the rock

Rise

empty inside
need to confide
why must I hide
swallow my pride
coming out
no more doubt
pour from the spout
I won't pout
no need to hate
is there fate
please consecrate
I won't be late
take a seat
begin a new feat
become the elite
I can take heat
sing a new song
rip from the bong
all day long
I won't do wrong
Eat something new
win a few
drink mountain dew
here's my cue

Transform

Swimming in an empty glass
Filling up with endless mass
Slowly growing out of the norm
Ideas begin to take a different form
Will they sink or learn to float
Can they cross a bridgeless moat
Many obstacles along the way
Harder than finding the needle in a stack of hay
Start to believe in the impossible
Your dreams will soar you farther than the improbable

Could it be?

How do I feel
I'll lay out the spiel
The things you say
I could hear all day
It brings a smile to my face
Makes my heart beat at a quicker pace
I love to hold your hand
I'd lie forever with you in the sand
I hope that I fall in love
Give you a hemp necklace with a turtle dove

Something New

Waiting for that something
Done with the old fling
Will it ever change
A new exchange
How much does it take
Can it last if its fake
Switch it around
More to be found

Dear Mom

You've always been there
You always will care
Through the good and the bad
Through the happy and the sad
In times of triumph and moments of trouble
You came to my side on the double
Although you may not think it, I love you
The tables have turned now it's my cue

Which Path

If I added all of my potentials
Divided by all possible credentials
How would it equate
Which one is the real fate
So many roads I can choose
Theres even several I can fuse
I don't know what I should do
I can't pick from it all not even a few

Adrift

Slap to the street.
Shoes strapped to my feet.
Tryin to find the color,
In a world oh so bleak.

Hop on the board and ride.
Got that rhythm in my stride.
Follow them curves closely,
And never close my eyes.

Plunge

Got that good fluffy feeling
No longer feel like stealing
Walk down the crispy beach
With everything in reach
Dive into the water
I'd go out a martyr
Holdin my breath and swim down below
Sweet vibrations come to and fro
Open my eyes underneathe the sea
The sun is happily smiling down at me

Your world, culturally constructed by the media.
The bullshit makes'em money and that's just what they are feedin ya.

M Doodles 2

Generally Bored

Being bored just strikes a chord,
To want things I cannot afford.
Instead I write some silly thoughts
About how easy to get lost.
Searching the planetarium
For the contents of my cranium.
If it is all the same but all unique;
Tell me why the people freak?
Fighting the wars and strive for gold,
A pursuit they not know two fold.

Untitled-1

It's not what you're thinking because I think alone.
Plus the more I care, the more accident-prone.
Inside fears outside is surely what happens.
When you let everyone in on what you imagine.
It is not to say that one should not share,
But make it too public and criticism will flare.
One of these days though, when my stone is real sharp,
I will allow for a stab to the heart.
I will make room for a judgment or two.
So please, grab a chair, there are only a few.

Unknown Feelings

I never thought that I would hate
but I guess that it was fate
I look at you and what do I see
A man I never want to be
patience is one thing you have lost
you won't change no matter the cost
Frusturated is what I feel
from the layers of pain I must peel
Half the time you don't even listen
You make people's eyes glisten
Your mind has been intercepted by the devil
you will never pass the in-between level
does anyone like who you are?
the ones who are near and those who are far
is this how you want to live?
do you want to be so negative?
through all of your actions and attitude
would you not rather receive gratitude?
this cause may be hopeless but I state it anyway
Maybe you'll find it in your heart to change one day

Ingredients

Your yeast is inactive
no longer imaginative
Your fiber has come undone
Thoughts arent fun
You have zero vitamins
your good outweighs your sins
but how many calories
start asking please

Clock

Tick tock
sound of the clock
the hand slowly turns
the time starts its burns
back and forth
what is it worth
theres only progression
timeless agresssion
here lies the pressure
how will you measure?

Listen

Everywhere there is miscommunication
infecting each and every nation
told to do different things
look at the chaos it brings
learn to listen when one speaks
before the information leaks
follow each set of directions
so theres no need for corrections

FUCK YOU

50

The Other Side

life is not what it seems
it is only a series of dreams
stuck in a reality that is not true
look at the colors change hue by hue
there is another dimension that is hard to find
you can go there with the right frame of mind
once you're there you might never go back
the gravity pulls you, you're under attack
return to the real but is it the same?
or does your mind linger from where you just came?

Charlie the Dragon

Charlie the dragon was a thinker
from his pool of knowledge he was a drinker
His mind worked like a 3 way highway
Pulling the best ideas that he could lay
The other dragons thought his brain worked too fast
He flew away but how long could that last
He pondered about many things
But he knew he would learn better from what others could bring
He flew back to his home to search anew
He was captured and forced take a drug or two
They said it would help to slow him down
Charlie thought in his tears he would drown
He became very tired from this new medicine
He couldnt change things, he would never win
Conforming to new levels is what he must do
But he could still learn and teach a lesson or two

You

you make me feel so good inside
you help me bring out my pride
you bring a smile from ear to ear
you put a finger to my tear
you get me to laugh outloud
you tell me I should be proud
you let me be who I am
you know our love could fill a dam

Charlie the Dragon

Charlie the dragon came about
When a young boy had more than one doubt
In seconds of sorrow and minutes of melancholy
he hoped his flame would spread jolly
his head held low, he no longer flew
everyone could see he was down and blue
he stared at the wall and counted the stars
falling deeper at the sight of his scars
he would question his faith in the dragon heaven
too many of his thoughts began to leaven

Shouldn't I Be Doing Something?

Material not getting through.
Ask me questions I have no clue.
These tests I take end up all boiled.
I crumble them up like aluminum foil.
Why oh why don't I just understand.
Education is the original plan.
To work real hard and get a degree.
To make some money then be free.
But something tells me at the end of the line,
I'll be the old man who's just drinkin some wine.
Wondering when all the time had gone by.
Still paying off loans, and I'm starting to cry.
"Grow a pair" I say to my older self.
"It's about happiness and not about wealth."

The Pull

swim through a sea of grapes
seperate the red drapes
fall down the blueberry waterfall
dive and bounce off a rubber wall
soar through the cotton candy clouds
sort through the pegasus crowds
burst throught the earth's atmosphere
you cant breathe but have no fear
past the planets and past the suns
zip by metoers by the tons
there is a light to where you are dragged
it is someone that has you flagged
who it is youll never know
because youll never reach the infinite glow

Elements

feel the water drip down
let it reverse your frown
feel the wind's cool breeze
let it set you mind at ease
feel the warmth of the flame
let your body be less than tame
feel the earth beneathe your feet
let life not end in defeat

Thought Crystals

I don’t come from this place.

Sent here in a space case.

My body’s been ground up.

My mind’s down in that kiff place.

Keep it there to save.

I use it as I please.

But if you ask me nicely,

I’ll sprinkle thoughts a top your trees.

Blah

i've found a place for a brand new colony

Scribbles

Hello World

.....

Down the hill in the mud.
Lots of tricks and sticks and stuff.
Writing here but don't know why.
No effort here so don't try.
I think it's falling collecting fast.
Exponentially revealing thoughts from the past.
It's always there cause there's always time.
Plus I'm lame and just make up rhymes.
What a weirdo. Make a move.
You wave from a far oh how smooth.

Eh

Father's shown me fear.
Father's shown me shame.
Turn your gears and spill your brains.
The canvas is blank in need of a splatter.
Paint how you'd like as mad as a hatter.
The pieces oh they flow.
Metronome all to and fro.
Writing fast but writing blind.
That's how it is inside of the mind.
Open up to see whats there.
Eyes are seared straight from the glare.

The Plains

Riding through the plains,
Tumble weeds and a truck.
Rain, lightning, and dirty clouds
Running a muck.
Don't hide in the rocks.
Let it cleanse your soul.
Pain is imaginary
And so is the cold.
Take the opportunity to experience life
Don't think about problems you have with the wife.
Out here in the plains where no one can hear.
Don't dwell on the past. Am I making that clear?
Time disappears when rubber meets pavement
It's only in your head as necessary enslavement
Give yourself freedom every now and again.
Lose it between the sky and the grain.

M Dream 4

Ok so earlier I did kinda have a dream while sleeping in Spanish class. But it was just of me listening to Only in Dreams by Weezer.

The bigger dream I had while taking my three hour nap this afternoon. The background music was The Hazards of Love by The Decemberists.

Went to Nikki Pulone's house(perhaps my only friend from Monmouth U ever) but it was really to see my buddy Mike Lane. She lives in South Jersey but here in my dream I am convinced I'm in Geneva, New York (probably a Gym Class Heroes reference). I go in and Mike offers me food and drink. Then we start messing around and try to get each other to hurt ourselves. I almost run into his fist or something and then we laugh and sit down on the couch. Mike's hungry and I can always eat so he suggests some China Garden. I say I'm down of course and Mike tells me that Nikki would want dumplings anyway because dumplings are delicious duh). Some skinny dude with blond hair who's probably a year or two younger then us rolls up on a motorcycle and goes inside to chill with Nikki (he's probably an older version of the drummer kid from School of Rock). I assume that the room were in is a garage/family room. I don't remember seeing any doors. Shortly after the kid leaves, only in a car this time. Then I guess I decide not to eat because I leave a little after that. I get in my car, which I assume is my dad's old black infinity. The roads are horrible and I can't see anything. I feel like I must be drunk and probably was drinking beer when I was with Mike. The reason the roads are so bad is because there is a giant sandstorm that is blowing. I can't even see the roads at this point however I'm not doing too bad a job of guessing where the road should be while avoiding cars at the same time. As I get more annoyed with the conditions I find myself about to drive into oncoming traffic. Deciding this is enough I drive off to the side of the road and get out. Sand is still blowing. I cant see shit. In fact I'm about to fall because I can't see straight. I stumble to the closest building I can see. It's a motorcycle shop or something. I see a multicolored bike that I think will be cheap because its been pieced together. Just as I'm about to check the price a cute girl starts asking me if I need help. She looks like the girl from Clerks II only my age. I tell her I'm alright and walk away. As I walk down the hall I'm still having trouble standing up all the way. The girl appears asking if I need help again. I say no. She puts her hand on my face or something, gazes into my eyes with a smile, and then giggles as she walks away. I come upon the end of the hall. I didn't notice it till now but all the doors are open with pieces of plywood that's about three feet tall to cover the bottom. My only guess is that they put them there so when working on motorcycles the parts don't roll away. Behind me appears this mechanic with a shaved head and a goatee. He reminds me of this dude who comes and drinks at the bar at Carrabba's all the time. He walks into the room at the end of the hall. Following him is and old man with his racing bicycle. That's right bicycle. After the mechanic walks into the room he asks the old man (who's now standing next to me) a simple yes or no question. There's a pause. I turn to the old man and say "he asked..." and before I can even tell him he answers the mechanic. I start telling the old man about how my eyesight has been bad lately and I think its ironic that he didn't hear the mechanic at first. He gives me this look like "boy how is your vision bad you're young". I also realize that the old mans hearing wasn't bad he just didn't answer him right away. I wake up and go eat my stiffed pepper.

Hospital

Trapped in a box,
My mind was on lock.
No way to leave, but I could see out.
All Icould do was walk about.
Knowing how it feels to be locked in a cage
All of my feelings were of sorrow and rage.
My head worked too fast,
And I spoke till the day wouldnt last.
My doc said I have serious issues.
Theres nothing wrong with my brain tissues.
He kept me for two weeks.
I had to conform to lower peaks.
If I didn't, I'd be committed.
Driving and computer usage was still not permitted.

Words of Wisdom

Be who you want to be.
Do what you want to do.
Say what you want to say.
Feel how you want to feel.
Taste what you want to taste.
Live how you want to live.

Dream Big

Needle in a haystack
Grain of salt in water
You in the human population
Time to make a change
Let them notice
Influence other people
Gain their respect
Win their trust
Let your dreams carry you
And oh the places you will go

The End

When you get to the end where will you be?
Did you see everything you wanted to see?
Are you happy with the person you have become?
Did you find the girl who is number one?
Will people appreciate what you accomplished
from the pool of choices that you fished?
Did you do more good than bad?
Did you make people happy or sad?
Will you make it to heaven or end up in hell?
Your fate has been sealed, only time will tell.

Dream

I parked my car perpindicular to the sidewalk outside of Villa Pizza. The car was still on, but in park. I left the car but it still reved up the engine and moved forward and backward. I go behind the car and notice black marks on the bumper. A girl is in the car parked next to mine giving me strange looks. I go into the pizza place and order a pie and four large garlic knots. The pie is sicillian. I am with someone who may or may not be Gill, but it is definitely a date so I assume its Gill. She doesn't eat much. I get up to go pay but the line is so long. I go back to the table and I am the last one in the restaaunt. A black waier comes towards me and I ask him to wrap my food up. I get the pizza box and walk outside to find my car smashed into the building. I am perplexed.

i am not thinking
i am still not thinking
this isn't fair
this is stupid
ugh
noooo
stop
i hold my head
i laugh hysterically
cant stop
seriously
i laugh again
stopp
dont type anything
i pull myself away from the keyboard
i dont remember what im doing
again this is not fair
i shake my head in disgust
nevermind
im done

Karma

Good things come to those who are good
they come to those who do what they should
these kinds of people come far from a few
always do your best to make this you
if they respect the law and the one above
they are sure to live a life full of love
so do to others as you want them to do to you
and problems and worries will be only a few

One liner

If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there"

J

let it burn
it ignites
the tip flares
smoke rises
breathe in
breathe out
blow rings
blow clouds
through your nose
ash it
flick the roach

M Dream 4

Note to all. This is whats playing in the background of my mind.. the whole time: CLICK
It's my day off and i decide to wander downtown. Down on the street I see an interesting guy carrying something and I decide to follow him thinking he's going some where interesting. Nope he just goes to a cafe. So I walk up the street and go into another cafe and see that Regina works there. I turn to the side and realize that Larry works there too. I start talking to Larry about how surprised I was they both had second jobs. Larry starts talking loudly as if to get Regina's attention. I'm like great here we. I grap a muffin or something and go downstairs to the street. Then I'm about to go into the department like store on the first floor and I see Regina talking to some lady about getting her keys. I tell her that I have some keys but she doesn't answer me and i assume that they're not the keys she needs. Go inside the departments store and see another cafe this time on the first floor. There's a cowboy hat made out of pizzell that I look at and ponder. I get something and don't pay for it yet. Start walking around the department store and decide to get some oatmeal and tea for my apartment that I apparently live in. Also somewhere towards the end of the dream I hear Dean talking to someone about how this building must be the constructors best work yet

love

what is love?
will you find it?
is it an emotion?
is it real?
is it attachment?
do you feel it?
how long will it last?
does it make you shake?
is it free?

M Dream 3

I believe I'm with three other people. We go to a convenience store and steal some food. The two people working the store just stand there and watch us as we do this. Then next thing I know we're eating shrooms. Serf is there... hes basically the reflection of everything I hate in myself. We walk to the beach and the ground looks weird to me. I bend down and realize the sand is covered in broken glass. Then I just start walking around. That's what I do when I think too much. I just walk and walk and walk so that I don't think about other things. If I don't walk I'll be reminded I'm tripping on shrooms and would start shaking. Another person in the group is a Breege/Taylor character. I only say Taylor because Serf is there. Next thing I see a spotlight on the beach. I walk up and it's someone's back yard. I see a kid there. He's one year younger then me. His name is Cody Imendezz but that's not his real name. In reality his name is Cody O'Mally. I know him from little silver. Anyway I start using his cool rope swing and then him along with everyone i was with go away. I wake up. Not very impressed with it.